irritating helper-28 June 2013

Enjoying my last few days of SAHM indulging my homemade Tiramisu terlebih koko.Tried my best to ignore the domestic helper's irritating presence. You know when someone intentionally makes her presence felt by doing her work extra har! get a life. My worst of all 4, and she is the only one married, yet the worst in handling housework. Have to be told,even so she still gets them wrong. Higher wages yet getting lower standard. Stubborn as a mule. 7 Months into her job yet she still cannot adapt. Not stupid but she is plain lazy. having 2 kids does not help either. The kids dislike her, even my niece cannot stand her. Sincerity is so obvious. if you dont do with your heart, nothing goes right.

I'm back

After almost 3 years, I am back with more vibrant and positive attitude. Looking through the past journals, both myself and the rest had accomplished most of what we had been struggling for the past years. I got my degree, Ed got his diploma, Najmi graduated from pre school and Ezzaty had passed through her PSLE! I am now a baking/cooking enthusiast, not sure when and how I started. even landed a short stint at a bakery outlet. On 1st July, I shall start a new job at A.W.W.A, I had applied twice on 2 different openings at 2 different time wave, getting it, is almost a dream. Alhamdulilah. On spirituality, had I not asked a former colleague, I would not been this far to be part of the family at Masjid T. It was not an easy route, rocky initially but no one says it will be a breeze especially to earn HIS blessing. I learn to be more patient, mindful and giving and make many wonderful friends though I know not all are happy with me. who cares. Spending my few carefree days here, besides paying my fasting dues, my mom had been nagging on the curtains making. Hope to be done by this week. oh yeah, cant wait to write more.

So long

Too long a period not updating this journal that I had to seek for password recovery assistance, hehe....forgotten all about logging in.

After much difficulty and negotiation, I gotten the job.
It would be my 3rd month there in mid Dec, so far it has been great. I love my colleagues, the work is manageable....all are fine except for the boss (everyone seems not to like her style) and air-con, of all the things that matter.

I caught colds too often...so often that i can safely mention that I am well for only 2 weeks there. I'm seeing the family GP for consultation and opinion, I hope no further tests are needed.

Currently im on study and revision mode. My last 2 accounting modules and the last ones with my project kakis. Gonna miss them...

Its true that the beginning and the ending would be the hardest. Into my final years in this degree program, finding it more difficult to hang on. The saddest part is that I will be the only left one to complete my final 2 next trimester...though we will be graduating and putting on the regalia together - cant wait for the ceremony.

My desire to relocate would be just wishing upon a star....nobody seems eager to join me.

The disheartening moment..today i received a job from the Uni to join a public listed company in Ozie..if only it happens 10 years ago :(

Hard Times

To get it, is so difficult, letting it go is worse.
I got an offer from a reputable organisation (a day after the interview - thats fast) only to let it go cos i cant afford or rather im not willing to pay my current employer 2 months of my pay...that will cost me a bomb! They want me to start almsot immediately...why oh why!

I think it's a sign that the market is picking up and that i have to give notice without securing a job first....so far no company is willing to wait, not even me paying a month to the current one...a month is not good enough.........


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New passion - Bags!

Oh yes, the parcel is finally here...im so in love with my sophie tote bag fm KS.
my 3rd and hopelly d final purchase fm KS for now is on the way.....

Trying not to get so addicted with online shopping....all these purchases are my needs really....not desires...ha!

Updates

Been away from this blog, yet again for quite sometime.
However, been updating status both at FB & Twitter. That too can be improved.

Tomorrow would be my 3rd interview since late July. I hope all goes well and if I get it, I hope this has been arranged by HIM for my best. I can only try, I have no knowledge for the future.

The first interview was such a disappointment, was so sure I had made it.
I was really not that hopeful for the 2nd one, firstly i dont like the smirk on one of the interviewer's face and i hated to be treated that i was really trying hard to get it...the way they asked as if they deserve better applicants than me.

Suit urself, even if they were to call me, i WILL reject them flat. first time ever in any interviews, i was not looking forward to hear any favourable reply!!

Im waiting for the exams results to be out any moment now, I hope to score better than expected.

Fasting month this year has been great so far. The fact that I made effort to utilise the time with volunteering work, attending class on weekends and try to perform terawih prayers as much as I can....I hope I will endure till the month ends.

So fast we are already in the 2nd week of Ramadhan, I wish this holy month could stay longer. I really do :)

Back to life

A short getaway with my sisters the past days had really energized me.
I can forget about the damn work for a while. If only it meant forever.
I was looking forward to this trip, hoping when I returned, I would receive good news.

BUT What did i get? "rejection, Unsuccessful, In Process And Kept for future reference"

I cant tell how much weary it was to be kept waiting. I thought I could endure few months more, but after the appraisal, 2nd year no increment and pathetic bonus, no reason to stay longer.

I had never felt so heavy leaving home to office.
Never felt so lazy to wake up to get ready for work.
Never had so much hatred to see my superior.

Its the little things that make it happen.
So particular, so fussy and so mindful over minor things that I feel that I'm a child once again.

Treat me like what you want others to treat you. Is it so hard for a mother of 3 like you???

wellness

I choose to believe that its Allah's will that I get to know this distributor for M-a-q-u-i juice. Having read through the website, I did not hesitate to have a try.
Its quite pricey but if I chose to be a member, I'll purchase them at a discounted rate.

Its been 5 days, so far no major development. Apart from me getting sweaty and my constipation is not as bad as it used to. Maybe, for the past days, I have been fasting, I didnt drink that much water either.

I have just enrolled to be a member and for the sake of the discounted price, I decided to be a distributor. Enrolment via online is a breeze, I have my own website. like real.

Im not interested on business level. Was suggested that I should attend the expo. Tts for my own consumption and well-being.


I hope this juice works for me, after all the many trials and errors.

The thing that makes me go...sigh...

Yesterday marked the 3rd time I was appraised, which significantly meant my 3 year residency at my workplace.

I prayed hard that this time she will not pour our more nonsense than ever.

Sounds silly, but yes, I had been reciting doas since Sunday night, to ease and loosen up the usual tight up situation with her on Monday.

Alhamdulilah, it was much better than the previous. I dont even bother to comment on her performance (it was a 2 way appraisal, ya see), conveniently marking her the usual '4' for all.

Her last statement makes me wonder if my presence was ever wanted here.....
"complete your degree first, if we cannot offer you what you had requested, then go elsewhere...."

First, when asked to sponsor for my studies, i was told I may not be able to complete the bond for reason that I may be sought after with the newly obtained qualification.

And now, this statement from her when I suggested a flexible working arrangement.

SO! to conclude...I am moving on! Thank you for all these years, I gain and lose nothing.

cant she says something more positive...some kind of political game as usual.

sigh..sigh..sigh!

Stay Over at Alia's & Ez's 10th Bday

Slept over at Alia's to celebrate Ez's bday on 12/6/2010.
Didnt sleep well, its true as the saying goes...home still sweet home.

Initial plan was to custome order her cake, but she requested for home made ice cream cake from me. It was all whiped off on her actual day....well, it was not really a nice looking one. will upload if i feel like it later.............

Instead I ordered fm cousin Nana for a customised princess theme towel cake.
Toileries set, towel, pyjamas, blanket n bathrobe wrapped nicely like a cake :)

heavy weight

I am pissed off with myself.
With the accumulating fats in me.
I am getting heavier by the days.
It irritates me each time people commented on my round figure.

It's the same words almost everyday..yeah i know im fat, dont have to remind me again.

I even told off mak this morning...she kept saying about my back...told her what she expects me to do. Im already so stress with my work and studies...cant u all give me some time to sort matter. I can't do all in one. Im not a superwoman!

Talking about study...Im so disappointed with my study schedule, if there is any to begin with.

How timely the class test to coincide with the closing.

Excuses! I have to be more organises. Period. Im not gonna give up.

Weird Dreams

For the past few days, been having disturbing dreams.

I dreamt of a CSPS mate I.B, was informed in my dream twice by twinny and S.h.e.d.a.h to read at the orbituary column on her passing away. I was numbed. shocked.

I woke up feeling loss and so depressed. The first thing i did was to log into Fb account and checked on her. So relieved that she is all well and fine. Been doing so, to see if her status spelt for trouble. so far so good. Alhamdulilah.

And last night, I dreamt of losing my favourite cousin, Bg Nin (favourite since he is ever so pleasant, unlike my other male cousins who are so b-i-t-c-h-y).

My aunt called to ask for my mum, sounded so urgent and sad. I knew something must have terribly went wrong. My cousin passed away due to sudden serious illness, which i had no idea what it was. I cried, sobbed and wept so hard. Even scolded his eldest sister for being childish....(seriously i dont know why i had chided her).

The dream lasted so long being me looking for a suitable baju kurung and tudung...i saw in the mirror that i had donned on a white tudung sotong and plain pink kurung. Somehow I never get to reach the place, I was being held up here and there. Even my late cousin bg Razak was there waiting for me to drive us all to the funeral....

Weird, scary huh? wonder what was it all about......spooky feeling!!

May Allah protects us all from all evils. Amin.

Missing Holy M

I wanna go there again.
May Allah ease our way to HIS kingdom. Amin.

work no life

Been rushing since last week - what with the month end closing and the starting of the taxation module.

Im very disappointed with the way I handle my study schedule.
Up and down with the figures at work, when i reached home, all I can afford to "revise" is to flip the pages, tag the subjects matters and arrange my notes. That's all!!

I can assure that coming to class cannot be any sotong...no prior preparation.

The good news is, I have jsut completed my accounting task, and tonight's class shall be our last for the taxation. 2 weeks break before MA module to start.

I will make sure that the 2 weeks break to be utilitised to the max. Revision and family time since its a school holiday.

Not sure our plan to sleepover at Port Dickson is to be materialised.
I do not want to pin so much hope since E is also busy with his schoolwork.

Ezzaty did well for her studies- 4* & 3A..score B for her english. She promises to improve. Can see she really tried - buying english books and reading anything in english. Its only that she has no confidence to speak.

Looking forward to the long weekends,tomorrow is vesak day....im storming in the kitchen again.

It's good time to celebrate E's 38th Bday too...I've decided not to bake him any cake....i know it will not turns out well :)

Graduation gown

Ezzaty had fun putting on Munyra's gown for her graduation ceremony on 17 May. (its Jk's Bday, Ani & Aliah's wedding anniversary..all in one..wow)

She pretended that she had completed her studies at Al-Azhar University...Amin, May it comes true!

My Philips

Got myself a food processor for my own Mother's Day gift. LOL.

Eversince Ani left, I'm trying my best thought how limited my time is to try out simple yet delicious recipes so that I can share the joy of cooking and baking with her.

This food processor will ease the mixing process. Hands free from now! :)))

Results

Final Exams results are out but not for my modules.

I feel abit inferior knowing my peers excel - getting distinctions and high distinctions seem so easy for them.

I'll try harder for the remianing 6. The past modules were fairly average - mixture of pass, credit and a distinction.

I hope I had fared better for the previous two. I've scored the highest during class test, even AH expected me to get HD, so I hope not to disappoint him.

I've got the green card to be excused from the retreat. I've forwarded whatever documentation I had to prove that my case is genuine and that I had gone through whatever possible alternatives.

Life is not getting any easier for me here. She is revengeful. Not now but later, she'll get back to me. I'm so immuned to her system.

I dont care anymore!

Tweets

I almost forgotten that I had a twitter account. Many times I mentioned about twitting more than blogging, the actual fact is i had only posted less than 50 in a year!!

Its time like this when tasks at work is completed, ive got time to read the archives...

I read through Ani's tweets... I can so feel for your frustration :(((

I wish I can hug her again...

Maybe bcos it was u that had to leave that we dont feel so much of the dragness not until on the actual day.

Many times u told us how much u hated to fly back, we thought its only right for u to be with your family, but we forget to understand our bonding.....I think I will be feeling the same way if I were the one to leave all of u behind.

All of us here pray that we will stay together again...indulging on things we love, just like those days when all of u were in spore :)

Perseverance will pay off one day. Amin!

fun time

Thanks to Mun for this video. Glad the kids are and know how to entertain themselves while the parents are at work. hmmmm.....gonna miss this when they are all grown ups and start to do things on their own...i hope they will still be that sticky to us. i really hope.

Skype in the air

I have heard many times about SKype. Never get around to get to know this application better not until Ani left for Denver. Been hearing good stuff about it as in no charges and how close we could be when communicating.

How true! Even Mak teared when she saw Firdaus upclose and personal.
She could not continue because she knew how Firdaus felt when he first saw us on the screen. It just that he could not speak to express his "lost" of not seeing us for so many weeks already. He must have said where were you all this while?

I'm so excited abt this skype thingy...I hope it helps us in the long run on controlling the tel charges incurred.

Long distance relationship is never easy - cost, time and heart pain.

Now & Then _ 2007 & 2009