sista's 3some outing

Me, Twinny & Mun left to AMK for out sisterhood's gathering.
Sad that Alia was not around AGAIN.
Thinking about Breeks and the lasagne that Mun had been craving for, we were shocked to learn it had since stopped operating there.

what!! no wonder we were so half hearted to dine outside.

Twinny suggested PIZZA HUT and we had Chicago Sphagetti, personal barbeque pizza and beef lasagne.
Drinks - peach tea, mocha latte and orange miranda...yummies!

The portions were abit smaller compared to Breeks but somehow we enjoyed them-of course we were like hungry hippos except for Twinny who had Mak's nasi sambal goreng. we chatted about many things, somehow technology & time changed but whatever me & ani had gone through, MUN had it the same-LIFE CYCLE :-)

Proceeded to AMK HUB after that and what did we get-Groceries from NTUCextra....

i dont think i had shopped alot but already spent $70+ plus the meals we had at pizzahut!

Money - easy come easy go.

failure to succeed

Big sister must always be a good role model to baby bro, yeah!


My patience wears out whenever coaching Ezzaty in her school work especially when mathematics is concerned.
I hate that subject and hate problem solving sums even more.
so i get real agitated finding out that she could be so careless at times and overlooks
many important facts whenever she attempts the questions.

also, I dont understand why primary one student has an early start on that NOWADAYS.
its not that simple arithmetic anymore, its more into analytical. SIGH!

anyhows, i could not do much by complaining, homeworks must be completed, revisions must be consistently enforced and slacking is the prohibited attitude. tomorrow is another starting week of examination-secular. she had completed her Islamics aspects. i must say, she did quite well in her recitation of doa's/surahs and translation. it was from her own effort, somehow i dont have to remind her on these unlike maths and spellings.

slowly 2x, she will understand the meaning of study hard, work hard and do well. at times, i purposely do not want to go through her homework/spellings so that she will LEARN 2b initiative and resourceful the next time and understand what is failure and success.

getting up on her own from a fall is a good way for her to remember in the future why she could not do this or why must she do that rather being told and act blindly without realising the consequences-thats what i think and i instilled in her.

its okay to fail because failure is the mother of success.

solat

ezzaty in her muslimah outfit, wearing my tudung which i bought almost ten years ago for my bali trip. still look good, yah?


"i have problems performing my zuhur prayer.
during lunch time, i would sneak to the staircase area (thank goodness its clean, spacious and no one seems to be around).
i do have the privacy but always have that feeling that someone would just open up the door.
the sound of water gushing from the females toilets ruin my concentration.
in other words, i cannot focus.

i should always be calm when saying my prayer but sad to say i am not-its been more than a month.
so today i have decided to perform prayer at CK's basement.
i had to rush, away from my comfort zone of just having the ablution and a praying mat.
i had to bring along my telekongs (i have to share the place with male jemaahs), had my wudhu in the offc toilet (faster than doing it in the basement toilet) and off i went crossing the road - all these took 20 minutes!

but for the sake of tranquility- i had 2 do it.

that small portion of the carpark had been converted into a small musollah.
only gone for 3 months but so many changes. the old cabinet was replaced with a new sophisticated one, labelled for the our convenience and i must say the place is much neater, tidier and welcoming.

i hope my path going there would be easier - by all means if HE wills.
its only a stone away but going down from 14th floor, crossing over 2 junctions not to mention waiting for green traffic light, walk to the far end of the building before taking the lift down to the basement - phew!

its boil down to Nawaitu - niat kita untuk beribadah itu insya-allah akan dipermudahkan dan terasa mudah-AMIN.
dan paling penting kekusyu'kan itu tercapai- i hope :-p"

wonder what is my passion?

Thanks Gurmit for reminding me about passion.
good for him that he's quitting his job to pursue his passion-to write.
yeah! he so damn good at writing-it would be a waste.

unlike me.......
Im 'jack of all trades but master of none"
i like/want/wish/desire many things.....
I like to sew but only curtains not dresses
I love to bake but can never dream to own a bakery shop
I know how to cook but not too tasty that people would bug me to open up a restaurant
I can write but not literally a novel
I'm crazy about home & decor but can never make it to be an interior designer
I adore books but can never call me a bookworm!

its time to sit & ponder..

nothing at all

I cant breathe properly.
No, im not an asthmatic
Whenever I need to rush up or many things crop up in my mind, I'm breathless.

The flu epidemic here made it worse.
First it was C, then it was me and now Jess could not stop sneezing.

Every alternate days, EXEC D would want to meet up on the cashflow projection.
I would have butterflies in my tummy just having the thought of it.
She was pleased with the way I handle the fund so far.
Initially was abit puzzled why i prefer to do remittance instead of LC.
Now, she leave it to me to decide. She is comfortable with my decisions.

I try to streamline the workload here.
Cutting down on repetitions and executing the operations in a less complicated procedure.

Last night, stayed up to do the payroll - wah!!
My colleagues will be getting increments, pay adjustments and commissions.
I ONLY received orders to transfer the fund but none of those are for me except for the monthly wages.

Next month I would be biting my fingers again - bonus time!
urgh.....:-( such a pain to be doing p & c stuff when you know u are getting nothing

doubt 2b kind

when S, a friend whom i made a year ago in my weekly religious class called to say she needed helped financially, i wanted to say no right away.

Firstly, i barely know her and secondly we will not meet each other since I have stopped attending the class for the time being for the FM course then.

that short time, we managed to exchange phone numbers in case the class would be adjourned to a later day or cancelled due to our ustazah's tight schedule.

we never called or send sms and so when i received her call (afer a missed call), i knew it must be something urgent. my heart melted when she mentioned it was for her fees-to purchase some text, and she had no one else to turn for help since i guessed everyone declined. her dad had not gotten his pay and the fees were due untimely. she's 18 and study part-time to sit for her N level. i dont have the heart to say no after hearing all these.

she would not make a brave stand to call an acquantaince for help if she had the choice.
even mentioned she was embarrased to have call for such purpose.

she wanted to meet me there and then.
i could sensed the urgency. she wanted cash now to pay her teacher first thing in the morning.
I agreed to help especially when Mak mentioned that it always good to be kind to someone in need.

but i could only transfer to her account the next day which i did and sms her after the transaction was done.
she replied to say her thanks and promise to pay and reassure me to trust her.

i have my doubts but i trust her not to betray me, if in any way she's out to deceive me, ALLAH is watching.

a date with former boyfriend

saturday's journal - 210407

left home almost midnight to have a late dinner wih my once boyfriend, to spend quality time together.
marriage life kept both of us so busy away from each other, even like having simple dine out to our fav spot.
everything seems to be in place latel , so we were not that busy.
thought catching a movie but then it was such a last minute decision.

We went to sembawang 24 hours foodstall, quite a crowd.
no wonder, there was a football match shown.
Thank God, he was not keen to watch, i can imagine how late it would be.

Sharing a plate of friend kway teow and a plate of small murtabak and 2 cups of hot teh tarik. what more could i asked - simple things like this meant alot to working parents.
away from our kids once a while could really improve our communication skills heheh...

Didnt talk about family, school or work it was about what we are planning to do.....
so we discussed admist all the noise and reached home at 2.20am-never been so late, the last time we did that was almsot 11 years ago..

then every week it was a must to watch a movie,.......

girls just wanna have fun (always)

my goodness, ezzaty looked like an old grandma w/o tooth!

Fineday

So happy for Mun. After 2 days of disappointment to go wireless with her new laptop, she got it finally!
Trial & error, we had overlooked the simplest step - getting the code to unsecure the router.

Now I cant believe we have 2 laptops!
I'm blogging on her desk and she did her stuff on the floor both facing our notebooks.

Need to get her a printer for assignment, i leave it to her to do the sourcing - not so expensive though.

Great nite to end, both my sisters - Ani & Alia would be spending the nite here with baby farisha.

Big boss was so occupied that she didnt bugged me to check on the overdues.

Yeah, I snapped at Jess, irritated by her overconcerness- V thought i was under alot of pressure.

Explained to him that I had endured long enough.
Jess realised she had gone a bit too far this time and I was surprised that I could not handle my emotion.
It was so unlike of me to rebuke, but i guess once too many times I had been keeping quiet even when I was not wrong.

I hope it would not happen again and really hope Jess would understand me better than putting words into my mouth especially when insubordination is concern - what ever it meant.

Like i had planned, I left work @ 5.30pm sharp. I love Friday - such a fine day to begin the weekends.

2 in 1 party

last sunday, we were invited by Alia & family to celebrate Farisha's 2nd and Aisy's 1st birthday.
A year apart but both could easily mistaken like a pair of twins
Enjoyed the food (yeah!!), the fun we had with all the little cousins get together and of course good time to catch up with extended families of my bro in law.
Look forward for such party especially when Alia moves to her own home - we could lepakz lama2 tanpa segan silu!

cousins forever - Aisy? he's always MIA
Cake cutting - adorable duo drooling
D cake - look out for Big Bird
Najmi getting restless
D Ideal sisters - checkout D topshop tops

lonely wont leave me alone

Lunch time has always been a lonely time for me.
I had not been going out for lunch with anybody since I work here except for that rare occassion of accompanying the HR Exec. I would stroll down the plaza, hotel or even popped in 7-11 for no absolute intention to purchase something. Most of the time, I would run errands for the company like banking, mailing or purchasing the pantry stuff.

This is one of the reason why Celest left - she felt there was no bonding.
Lunch time was scheduled in such a way that we could not have lunch together with our colleagues.

***********************************************************************

yesterday, I made an appointment with my old kakis from CK but too bad SY could not join since she was a vegetarian for the day. We had a heavy meal at Glutton and it was a treat for me...GHEE! thanks, should have told me earlier, I would suggest a restaurant instead,heheh!

Worked till 9.30pm to do the GST Submission- it was not that difficult like i thought:-0

finale

i wish i was a little kid once again. just look at him, wonder what his thoughts, milk,diaper or simply i wanna sleep...

was up @ 2am to do abit/last minute revision for Financial Analysis paper.
focus on the revision paper which JC had gone through on Thursday.
didnt missed much on Tuesday lesson, managed to cope with the concept.
my last paper and hope not to obtain another Crescent.
I had C for my IF - i was relieved, thought i had failed. Dian was disappointed cos she was expecting me to do better. i have no confidence in IF cos it was so boring and i didnt put much effort to score better! so i was more happy than sad.
so far 6As and a C-urgh,...what a score. D best and D worst!

Glad that my rush hour is over (at least for now) but sad that i will not see my classmates again.
we may meet up once a while but it would not be the same like meeting up twice a week for almost a year.
the nite that i had missed lesson i woke up in the wee hours feeling so remorseful [that missing someone kind of emotions overcame me] sob sob sob...gonna miss kovy. PJ, Dolly, Dian...everyone in campus!

i have worked out my time not to stay up late on fridays (unless for last minutes) since we have the privilege to knock off half an hour earlier. it would be a waste then. the rest of the days i have to work hard to catch up on the accounting part of my duties which had to be set aside to cater for the administrative and hr aspects.

Jess informed me that the mgt report should be finalised, she went on to say that it should be drafted earlier on bla bla and then realised i was clueless on that issue. fast thinkingly she decided to sit down with me on monday to do the lay out...at times she can be so annoying but her observation saves her alot on miscommunication with me -very blunt for the wrong reason. guys here like to poke fun at her agitatedness which at times get her into alot of trouble.

KC's last day - we had canadian pizzas. (4 diff menu, chicken wings, salad-i was full)
i had prepared his final salary but as usual our accountant took his time to approve.(give up on his slow motion mode)
i definitely gonna miss him, all the best, pal. he deserves a better boss.

and yes everyone here wish that the boss would not turn up for work for one reason or another-mc, outstation, meeting...
we feel that she's always in the way - cant do much when someone who loves to meet you in her office for hours and half of the time watching her TYPING her emails........where is the time management!?

oohhhh just love these videos! yay!

younger whitney...


- loves this song (didnt know michael mcdonald was one of the toto members!)

i was only 6!

100% about me

On monday nite, i stayed up till 10.30pm with Celest to wrap up the month end closing.
I was aching all over and my sleeping hours felt so short. thought i had just doze off when the alarm went off - it was already 6.30am! i was late for sure, at this time i should be done with my prayer and had my breakfast and leave for school at 7am sharp. yeah, Ezzaty missed her assembly but she was all smiles. cos she could go straight to class w/o listening to all the preaches-very smart of u!

i didnt feel like going for class. i could visualize JC repeating herself and i was so tired. no mood to attend tutorial.
no regrets though, najmi was not well, took him to the clinic with MAK while eddris helped to coach ezzaty on her schoolwork.

the day in the office was packed with presentation for the teambuilding, coordinating interviews for the marketing and engineering team and yes i had to assist our HR EXEC from KL. such scenario will last for the whole week.

good thing was, her presence here is a blessing for me. having a malay colleague is a good change for a while. glad that she would be coming here every month.

except for my stanchart years, i have no other malay collegue working in the same department/company for the longest time. miss talking in my own language - its either english or mandarin during office hour. not the chimp one of course. and many misttook me for a chinese convert or sumthing like dat, judging from my small eyes and fair complexion - im proud to say i am a 100% malay. kalau tak sendiri bangga dgn bangsa sendiri siapa lagi.

working here was a challenge since everything seemed to be THE first time for me.
first time doing hr and admin on top of my main accounting duties. and coping with requests, allowances, mc etc.

everything must be fast, quick & speedy.
expect the unexpected here, when i thought everything fall into places, always having hiccups and eleventh hour rush to resource for this or that. not to mention not having the experience, the guidance and the right pple to ask, it is very time consuming.

stop complaining, shut up and just do it. nike does.

vintage substance

im a sentimental person, no doubt about it. hard for me to discard things which meant so much- recollection of the younger years and those passed down by the lates.

here are some of the items - in their original states.

dont leave home w/o it-they were in our living room in AMK, then in our dining room in Hougang and now in mak's room in Khatib
the existence of this set of wooden arm chair - way before i was born
ezzaty's collage-pics of our first kiddo, it had always been her infront of the camera
old school times memories-cups,photos,books & magazines
my late father in law's clock - wont spare ur ears every hour
our antique phone - cannot redial, cannot page just plain dialing

dark secret

ezzaty has been secretly taking shots of her with Mac, in different effects, colours and poses!
evidently these shots of her, my guess -she was imagining to be an actress, heheh!

Usually, Mun would be posing with her, but the latest pics was her all alone...no wonder she could easily shows me how to go about choosing the mode, the effects and all.....

happy for her

yesterday, our newest addition to the family came. was so surprised that she looked much younger and tougher.
what Mak had mentioned was indeed true, the real person would be diffrent from what we have seen from the photo.

M explained to me briefly the procedure of being an employer - the do's and dont's.
in a matter of mere minutes all wrapped up. Mak would be around most of the time to supervise and guide her so there is no need to elaborate, i guess.

we had planned to go out but could not leave Yati alone so we left her at Twinny's place with the 2 kids, my bro in law and Twinny's helper - she was very delighted to meet up with her, someone so close to where she came from, sharing the same fate of seeking greener pasture in foreign land. i told Yati to learn the rope from her since she's been with Twinny for more than a year and Mak had taught her most of the basic stuff- so she's the expert now..

bought what we wanted at Geylang serai pasar (mak had her objectives achieved, disappearing every now and then to get her stuff) before headed to Suntec as requested by Mun. We were on the way there since Eddris suggested us to perform the Zuhur prayer at Islamic Jamiyah Centre. Twinny was overwhelmed by the thought- brought fond memories to her- yeah she was solemnised there.

wah! Mun & twinny were like pro shoppers!! telling where to get good bargains.
Mun shopped the most, accumulating her wadrobe before poly term starts. i bought 2 cute t-shirts for friday casual wear and accessories from Tinkerbell.

Mak has never been so sporty, she didnt rushed us to go back and even suggested what to buy.
she was not in her hurry and fast forwarad mode. calm and steadylah mak!

yeah, her mind is free now from the housework, the routine, the chores...

this morning when i woke up, no more orders from her
'nanti dah sarapan, Ana, kau cuci bilik air dan mop rumah, baju tak yah lipat, mak dah buat. atau kau nak ke pasar??"
biar mak yg siapkan makanan anak kau.." i would just conform and do accordingly. doing these on off day, i would not know what had been done in the weekdays so Mak has to read out the list.

Happy that she is happy. hope her health is getting better :-)

Mak's helper

M, the maid agency owner smsed to inform that our domestic helper will be coming tomorrow. I could sense Mak heaving a heavy sigh of relief. Her health has been failing and looking after 2 kids and the chores during the weekdays is just too much for her. I could not help much, at times i reaches home very late.

And i could not see myself quitting my job to enlighten her burden. Mak would not like the idea too because I could safely rely on her to care the kids which allows me to join the workforce with no worry. she only need a helping hand on the daily chores which is endless...yeah, had my hands on for 2 months ages ago and i cant wait to go out to work.

Poor Mak, she had been enduring this for too long, I guess. Unlike of her to complain. I know her too well, she will do what she can manage.

what i hated most

External parties find me irritatingly persistent - but cant blame them.
previous staff had spoilt the market for being such a pain in the neck that each time they heard i was so and so calling from so company, I can feel their resentments and hatred. chasing them for payment is definitely NOT my cup of tea.

I try to minimise contacting them and this morning i had the urge to give them a gentle reminder and what do i get - a shock of my life.

If only that old hag over the phone had given me the chance weeks ago to make known about the existence of the invoice, it would not be this chaotic.

SIGH! think positive and hope all goes well.

Foolish April

we r getting ready to Twinny's place for a celebration.
yeah! Azima's is April's fool baby...her mum delivered her in a water bath tub (really man, u r one determined lady)! on this day 7 years ago.

Like usual, it would be a gathering with the aunties and cousins from the Asia continent, in time to come, she will be able to celebrate with her American ties.

speaking of April's fool- i dont really bother about april's fool - i dont play pranks on others, so pple dont have the heart to do likewise.

BUT Since the arrival of my nieces and nephew - APRIL IS A BUSY MONTH FOR us.

!st - Azima
9th - Farisha
17th - Aisy

3 celebrations for the tiny toons!!

and not forgetting Happy Birthday to ANISHA NADINE - she will be one on the 7th April. MUACK!!!
a big feast is waiting for your dear!

Note: Accountant Quek has overlooked that 31st march is on saturday, to value the pymt date 3 days before for the payroll, of course we will not be getting our pay on 31st - its saturday and sunday no bank is operating to do the transfer..so tomorrow everybody shall get their salary.

First time doing payroll and this happened-I will never forget this.

My colleagues are a nice bunch luckily, they know who to look for - Quek, u r wanted!
foolish beat...

u r always on my mind

my late aunt on the far right. Its been 2 weeks but seem just like yeserday she left us.

i was clearing the data especially the photo booth folder.
didnt realize photos of my cousins' wedding are still there.
and chance upon the few photos of my late aunt.
on that wedding was the last time i met up with my aunt, she was so well then.

miss her, miss her kuih makmur, lopez and koci...
her loss would be greatly felt during syawal, being the eldest among her siblings, we never miss to visit her first.
not sure how it will be like this year......

back to the street, my boys..

after NKOTB era ended, BSB kept me alive..

lunch time entry

i cant go out for lunch since no one is in the office.
Lady A & G were out sending off our German client-N.
N came to see me to say his thanks for booking the hotel accomodation before he left.
He was pleased with the location, though my other collegues were giving negative comments when i told them that was my last resort.

He tried to strike a conversation on the first day he came here but as usual been the reserved type - i didnt even greeted him.
Only on the 3rd day, he then came calling my name in a very weird way saying that he had bought chocolate for all the trouble.
last minute and with a certain budget. I just hope he had not face much problem to be relocated to 4 different hotels in a week...

Thank Allah for his help- all went fine.

So i was posting the accouting entries while munching my brunch.
I purposely bought BK breakfast meal set so that i have something to munch in the afternoon. I had this feeling that i have to guard the office during lunch -very true.

told mak that i will be staying late to finish up my accounts.
Next week will be yet the beginning of another busy month...

and cant wait for Yati to come over next week, Mak would not be so tired with her around. and i can resume my hobby since someone is around to do the chores for me-YAY!!!

what else to say

stayed till 9.30pm for the payroll session. thank god, i have to account for only 8 staff, less complicated and straight forward.
i would have only 2 sessions left with Celes - GST & Month end closings. I am doing fine so far and she could tell that I am able to cope well. i too cant wait to manage the accounts smoothly and independently.

initially so many things to remember, days go by, all will come naturally.

when i reached home, both babies were asleep.
rest assure this arrangement will not last forever.
once im settled with the tasks, i could manipulate my time management and off duty on the dot.

oh yes! yesterday went to my cousin saini's baby shower - his 3rd gal.
met up with the rest of my extended families - uncle, aunties, brothers n sisters.
didnt expect to bump into them, thought they would have left ages ago.
went up to saini's homw together but i
didnt stay too long cos im going for the kenduri tahlil of my late aunt.

me & aisyah were in our crazy mood-
conversing in mandarin and we had a good laugh when we could not find the correct word!
thks channel 8 for all these years of informal mandarin lessons :-)

Latest of Glenn Medeiros

He's a teacher now, pursuing his PHD and this song he wrote for
"Timely and Inspirational Tune for NASA's Return to Flight 2005"

The video shows how beautiful Hawaii is...

humpty najmy

say cheeze everyone! i didnt know where to focus!!


Najmi had a great fall! he was as usual still unstable on his legs and fell with a loud thud on the floor.
I saw him smiling at the other end of the coffee table, he looked alrite, and continued reading the paper.
what caught my attention was my cousin's late father in law who passed away 3 days after my aunt.
his family had published the Al-fateha column on BH, he looked not quite close ti remembered him to be.

and so when i was recalling the day my cousin wed, seeing him on the wheel chair, I heard something and oops...Najmi was flat on the floor, mouth wide opened and cried when i screamed out 'JATUH'!!!

Mak scolded me for being careless and he didnt stop crying till i brought him down for a stroll for the 2nd time.
what a commotion. well..my fault, i admitted.

he must have been so tired that carrying him had never been so lighter.
he fell asleep in my arms and didnt realised i was making sounds to make him doze off. Pple looked at me with weird expressions.

later in the afternoon, i took pictures of the 3 of us infront of MAC, fun really.
Najmi forgotten he had fell, ezzaty taught me how to pose and i cant wait for both of them to have their naps!

my fave clip

someone posted glenn medeiros' live performance clip back in 1987 on you tube !!
i didnt get the chance to watch it then. remembered that his clips were rarely shown.
he was not a big name here, i guess. and NGCMLFY was only frequently aired towards 1990.

good looking right??! i realised he's much a better performer than Jordan K.

on my own

Lady Boss is not feeling well, so its been 2 days i had to make decisions for the smooth flow of the daily operation.

half of the morning yesterday I did room reservation for our client.
at such short notice, its hard to get good rates in good locations.
with many conventions being held at this time, almost all rooms are fully booked EXCEPT for the Deluxe suite, of course.

I was occupied with the Income Tax thingy, GST, etc that were left untouched by the previous staff. Its frustrating to be resourceful with no proper guidance.
Had to learn from scratch and like they said, having new things to learn is good BUT not when the deadline is just round the corner.

And the stocklist is patiently waiting for me to do the update...urgh!

better get going..My hearbeat is getting faster!

too late to say goodbye

what can i say? no perfect words could ever describe my guilt.

on Monday, i got a phonecall from kak nia that her mum - my eldest aunt was hospitalised.
this would be her 2nd time, exactly a year ago when she was first diagnosed with pneumonia.
was so busy with work & class, i didnt give much thought how serious her condition would be.
cos i know she would be okay.

Told mak about this, and she planned to visit the next day, which she had failed to do so apparently because of me, coped up with work and no one to send her there.
On Wednesday, Kak nia smsed to inform Aunt was critically ill and unconscious.
Again, no one to send Mak there, she delayed and only visited her on Thursday with the rest of the family EXCEPT ME.
Thinking that i would skip lesson or at least drop by after lesson but somehow, I was not meant to meet her alive.
All were puzzled why i didnt turn up..i could not answer that myself.

Deep in my heart, I had this feeling that my Aunt would be allright-admist all the negative feedback form the doctors.

I went home straight after class, never even think of visiting her that Thursday nite, the night my aunt was given few hours to be alive before meeting HIM. somehow before i slept, i had this urge to recite the Yassin for her. i never read so long a surah before going to bed. I though it would the best to compensate my absence. nothing could ever can pay for that precious moment.

I was all prepared to visit her on Friday night, cancelling my training hours with Celes, I even brought kitab Yassin with me.
IT WAS TOO LATE, she had gone to meet HIM at 9.00 am. I took urgent leave, dont bother to ask my Exec Director, the reason she called me up, before she had the chance to say anything, told her im going home now for a funeral.

I cried, all shaken when I saw my aunt lying motionless for the burial ceremony. My knees were knocking with each other, I just could not control my tears and the emotion burst out shamefully. I took the last chance to kiss her forehead and lay my face on her chest after all her children had their turns, I must not let that chance to slip, or else im gonna regret it for my life. which i already had.

She was as if in deep sleep, no signs of pain or suffering and to this day, I never felt she had gone forever.
she had always been so quiet and you just know she would be around for all occasions .

May Her soul be placed amongst the Righteous.
AL-FATEHA. buat Hajjah Halimah.
OBEK, kehadiran mu akan senantiasa dirindui, pemergianmu aku tangisi.
pergimu terlalu cepat buat kami yang menyayangimu.
Moga ROH mu tenang disana.

Belum sempat aku mohon maaf diatas keterlanjuran/kesilapanku
Belum sempat aku memeluk dan mendakapmu
Terkilan sungguh atas kelalaianku untuk menjengokmu,
Hanya kiriman doa dan alfateha yg dpt ku beri.
Insya-Allah, silaturrahim dgn anak2 mu akan ku pelihara diatas ingatan abadiku kepada mu.

missing

I was like waiting for a star to fall for the past weeks, hoping eagerly with high anticipation. Days went by, I leave it to Fate.

Just 2 days starting on this new role, I received not less than 5 calls asking me to meet up because I was shortlsited. should I go or stay put?

I heeded Mak's advice to accept which ever first to offer and letting go the rest.
Though, those calls were from well known organisations - from banks to retail dealers.

Afterall, I was only invited for interviews - GOD knows how many shortlisted candidates that have been called up.

I have got so much to learn and like i have posted in my earlier entry, this is the post that i hope both of us could compromise. Yeah, the accounts here are much simpler from the previous, adding on administrative and HR duties.

Definitely a multi tasker.(somehow i hate the calling up part)

BTW, i was informed by AL that SL & YL had left too.
leaving without words. i hope to see them soon, i really have fond memories of both of them.

we shared, we cared, we helped - they were so thoughtful. im gonna miss them.
in fact i missing them already

losing that M for everything NEW

im losing interest in reading up my notes.
Im not studying enough.
Im not revising sufficiently.
Im not focusing.
Im so very lazy.
Im not supposed to be like this, especially when exam is 2 days away.
This is so not me.

Im so de-Motivated.
IF is SO boring. IF is so technical and factual. URGH!!
I have done well for the past 4 papers, not letting this one to smear the good record.
Dont care about scoring another A, a pass will do!!!!

Good news though, Im starting a new day tomorrow.
First day Im sending Ezzaty to school from tomorrow onwards, before reporting for work - new boss, new office, new title, new colleagues, new challenges but old area.

barely 4 months - what to do.
A NEW DAY HAS COME, moving on and i hope it would be for the last time.

mushy birthday bash

the emotional birthday boy!

3 princesses

overwhelmed by the attention

had to delay the celebration cos the cake had not arrived till it was 3pm.
and Nami was soundly asleep.
we were very hungry, its already lunch time and we could not wait for Alia.
so we ate up the satays which Twinny had ordered.

The moment Najmi woke up, we sang him a birthday song and served him the cake.
I think he was still very much sleepy..!!

just another day

IF paper is around the corner, I have got less than 10 days to revise.
for my case, its more to understand. pray for another miracle, just what happened to Econs.
at the last hour, i could then understood and made my way through to score-didnt expect to do well myself.

so God, please help me through this paper too, kind assistance in understanding the facts and attempt the right questions.
3 hours is not that long - pondering leaves little to write down the facts.

okay, tomorrow shall be another gathering with my sisters to celebrate Najmi's belated birthday.
no fuss at all cos Najmi has no idea what is birthday all about, making my task easier - to buy d cake.
no theme or fancy request from him. as long as we have a cake to highlight the celebration.

no decorations, no balloons, no games, no special appetizer..
will see how it goes tomorrow.

Ezzaty & Mun are busy right now painting one wall.
and im keeping myself busy on not important stuff - like updating this entry!

see ya!

happy 1st birtday - Ezzul Najmi

Today a year ago @ 3.30pm, Najmi was born after 6 hours of labour.



Selamat hari lahir buat puteraku.
semoga jadi anak yg soleh, beriman, taat pada perintah dan laranganNYA serta berbakti pada agama, ibu bapa, bangsa dan negara.

Selamat maju jaya dunia dan akhirat - AMIN.

Doa & harapan yg Ikhlas
Ibumu.

Selera serasi

recap on 25 February 2007- went to Hougang Mall after collecting the drill set from Ani.
Had not been there for almost 2 years. We were disappointed-still the same.

The day kicked off as per routine, I brought Najmi to the playground after his cereal breakfast & bath.
He was very quiet throught, sitting on my lap watching the other kids had fun.

Eddris wanted to have a family outing just the 4 of us, since Mun was down with fever and Mak was not in the mood to go out. felt a bit awkward going out with 2 lesser people.

Of course, we didnt know where to head to, nothing much in Hougang mall, we decided to have our lunch and i thought of the Serangoon market where most of the stalls were originally from Taman Serasi Foodcourt.

I had my fav roti john, since Eddris could not find any nasi padang menu, he opted for nasi lemak..
Though Mak was not around, Ezzaty had Mak's choice-Mee rebus.
We were like "are you sure?"

consideration

i was very determined to study tonight. Started @ 11pm, without fail being interrupted by Najmi, who was put to bed at 8.30pm. Awaken as usual for milk, it took him half an hour later to go back to dreamland. I had to rock him in the buai first cos he was tossing & turning in the playpen for the longest time.

have just completed my reading, not much. really, its a tough module this time. cant just memorise the facts, IF needs alot of understanding. urgh...i have not been so pressurised before. just want to get this through and complete the programme to achieve my ultimate goal - that mortarboard.

Kovy has been very thoughtful- having a great network of professionals, he thinks about me everytime his pals have job openings. I did not mention to him about looking for one except being complaining having lots to do at work, but maybe he finds me suitable to be matched since i have been in this line for more than a decade. though i had settled down, i have always kept my options open. past experiences had taught me a valuable lesson, never turn down cos it might be the one 4u.
NO HARM TRYING.

I welcome those recommendations with open arms. the ones which i find not so suitable, i get my other friends to apply.
a handful of them are seriously seeking. one being retrenched w/o compensation (after serving the company with so much loyalty for 7 long years), one not happy with the management and one always kena bully by the boss while the rest just looking around for that big break.

Im giving alot of consideration on one, it would be good if both parties could compromise. I would be able to put into use the knowledge i had acquired from the Business course. and i get to work much lesser on the accounting aspects. just have to wait and see how lucrative the offer would be - benefits & self development.

if only i had made known to Kovy before getting this job, I would not have looked like a beggar crying for help then. and ended up doing the process instead of the reporting stage. SIGH!

Like i have said before, it was a mistake to have asked A certain pple.
tough luck & unfortunate encounter.

my baby never looks good in RED

she was in her jovial & chirpy mood the day before, all happened so fast:(

yep! my baby girl is terribly unwell. her body was so hot & RED on Tuesday. she was in delirium. lips peeling dry, no appetite to even have a decent meal BUT her temperature was only 37.5c! funny yah? obviously her skin is not that thick.

I placed a kodomo icepad on her forehead to reduce the heat and gave her panadol syrup before she went to bed.
i was not thinking to send her to the 24-hours clinic since her temperature was not that alarmingly high and she refused to wake up, in her most sleepy and moody state.
as what Mak had mentioned, she was talking in her sleep.
Grandma was not getting enough sleep either, sorry!

brought her to our family GP d very next morning, he thought so she was not that seriously ill but nevertheless, gave her 2 days mc (yesterday & today) to recover. he's always very concern about children passing on virus to their peers.
making sure they recover fully before going back to school.

she's getting better today but still very weak.
will be fast asleep after medication and yeah, i have called the school that she will only return to school on Monday.
getting her another MC for tomorrow.