long busy leave

my long absence from work is a blessing for Mak.
How timely. she has not been feeling well - body ache, headache, cramps and the symptoms of an aging lady.

being a stay at home mum for a while, Im taking over looking after Najmi (yeah boy! im so exhausted entertaining him!) and fetching Ezzaty from school. Time passes superly fast at home, i notice. wake up as usual that early (thought i could sleep abit longer) to do the marketing, feeding Najmi,putting him to bed, then its noon, his lunch time, and occasionally i will cook lunch if Mak not cooking, then time to fetch Ezzaty, and rush for class after that and its time to bed when i reach home....

Mak is worried if she may not be able to cope when im back to work (what more if shes not getting well fast enough),
she would also have to change her schedule. with me around, she is ever so busy, what more if im not around.

reality bites

i have realised too late that:

1. It never pays to sympathise with those who have not been getting what they want cos once their wishes are granted, their personalities would TOTALLY change.

2. Humble people are getting harder to find nowadays. each time they open their mouth, its full of airs and smell of shits.

3. office politics and office scandals exist and classified as open secrets. when you say it out, a sshhhh echoes. but somehow you know the whos, wheres and whens.

4. love and hate collide in any friendship. funny how a friendship remains and will never dies when one always has to listen and the other never.

5. blood is thicker than water. not extended to relatives, i suppose.

whats up BABE??

i dont believe in Revenge but i do believe in Retribution.
what goes around will comes around.
let The ONE Above deals with you.
coming from me may not justify what you had done.
i leave to ALMIGHTY HIM to give you the best what you will deserve for all these mess.
but i need to shout it out, cant stand your kaypohness!

i dont see whats the big fuss. its not my fault that i am invisible to the SS.
i was relocated to a very serene location-away from the hustle of noisy jerks like u.
i may not be supervised and no one monitors my movements anymore.

but im not idling away and certainly not shaking my legs doing nothing.
just because everytime you pass by my cubicle i may be doing my personal stuff.
it does not mean im doing that for 8 hours.
you must be crazy thinking i would waste my money talking on my mobile just because there is no phone on my desk.
i choose not to have the phone, i no longer deals with pple - internal & external. and i hate pple calling my extension for the wrong reason.

u never thought SP would inform me what you had asked her..if im doing anything being alone there.
thanks SP for your kindness.

hey u!! please mind your own business, i know you are so FREE (since in few days time you wld be officially transferred to new section) dats y the findling faults on others, digging all the historical records to improvise things around and doing voluntary checks! this explains the surprise email from SS - she never ask anything from me that way.

im capable to work on my own, with the least supervision, i have always been- no doubt about that..

if you think i have been missing in action these few days, have you been resourceful enough, go into the filing room?

i was there for 3 damn days helping the auditors - a task which all of you love to avoid.
should be thankful that i am still around, im not surprised it could be you sniffing around the shelf next time.

family Park day

we had been planning to have a family day in this not so sure the name park eversince it was opened to public about a month ago. and finally we made it happened. from far, it looked like a resort with pple fishing, but we realised it was like a kampung with small huts scattered across the plot of land.
it was such a hot sunny day that my face was turning dark and oily....
Najmi refused to put on his hat and so was frowning all the way in his pram.

while watching Ezzaty from far, we were eyeing for that wooden swing but some guy was faster than us. i had turned back to where i was sitting under the shade of coconut tree (we were lucky no coconut fell on us) - so malu!

but our disappointment was not long, as we strolled up to the far end towards the carpark, we saw 3 such swings...2 were occuppied and that one swing which was smaller than the other 2 was perfect 4 us.

yippee! it was quite sometime since i last sat on a swing and i was not alone...3 of us were together enjoying the ups and downs with the breeze of wind brushing across our oily faces..heheheh!!!

200107/1 Muharram-33rd NaNi

party wld be meaningless w/o them around

our beloved bro fai

girls power

cutting cake ceremony

birthday girls and that cake...

me and all the goodies

party gals!!

yummy Secret Recipe chocolate cake from Alia



2day I received many smses birthday wishes but d one which really took me by surprise was from Juff from far in Nogales. God! technology advances sure make the world seems so small...Thanks Juff, cant describe how touch i was :-) and to all my other fellow friends and cousins who went the trouble on d weekend to drop your wishes- thanks 2 d Sues from Tweerans, Kak Nia, Allysawati, Chris, Nicky, Juffrey and those who i have failed to mention but yes i received the mssges, SINCERE THANK YOU, thats the best birthday gift one could have-the thought that counts!! mak ai..cam menang grammy award bunyinya....hehehah!

not forgetting my sisters for their gifts and thoughts....thanks girls!!
this year is special cos i get to celebrate on the day itself and its more meaningful with d presence of all my extended family members!!! muacks!!

SUEweet surprise

me & ani in our younger years...splitting image - right????


Yay! I am flattered by Sue4ever's reply on my comment. n Also eee..so malu, pple reading my blog, the ever routine crappy entries, nothing amazing and always complaining. but thats what blog is for, to vent your frustrations and share the happy moments. i hope i dont hurt anyone's feelings when at times i wld be too vocal in expressing my thoughts. i do get carried away with emotions that pple might think im talking bad about them.

I cant resist to let Sue4ever know how i admire the special bonding she has with her siblings and how caring and thoughtful of her brother for the things he did. prioritise his siblings' needs more than anything else. thats what a brother should be - protective, caring and someone whom you can rely on. when i was younger i always dreamt of having an elder brother to protect me when i was being bullied :-(

I was in the filing room the whole day, retrieving documents for the auditors. my!! this company need to do alot of filtering and cleaning up on maintenance of good records. getting many temp staff to clear up all the mess is not a good solution. must have a good system and staff should be taught the right and clear way of doing things here, not by passing down asal boleh and then clear your hands off totally. i have made myself clear on this with the Director. it seems to fall on deaf ears.

after work, i rushed for an appointment which had to be cancelled on my way there. He promised to meet up tomorrow - i hope he will keep his words. hello..my time is precious too okay..not only yours, just because you have to fly around most of the time.

i could not alight half way through the journey, and so decided to alight where i was supposed to meet him and thought of calling mun. great! she was in Bugis and we decided to meet at Citylink. we passed Breeks and decided to have our dinner there since the waitress was so into promoting the valentines special grill set. i had seafood mar..sumthing like dat sphagetti and mun ordered Beef lasagne and we shared a moctail of the day which came with a cup of ice cream...totally forgotten bout that when i was about to pay the bill...had to return to our seat cos we were not allowed to take away...heheh!

aimlessly walking, i came across something for my twinny's birthday. i know my other sisters didnt but this for her,..so i thought it wld be a perfect gift for her,,,shall not say much in case she wld be reading this,

..happy 33rd birthday to Nooraini and myself.
we were born in the wee hours - almost subuh,
me -0435hrs and Ani at 0515hrs...half an hour diff..wow!! mak must be screaming like hell then.....

ABBA

Two down and one more to go. Assignment, submission date is on Thursday.
I have never done my work that late. Eversince I got my grade for that killer paper Economics, I don’t really put enough effort to do my assignment. Thank you so much for demotivating and demoralising my self esteem. Lame excuse??

Well, I have spent so much time to draft, reprint, redesign and I could say the most time consuming assignment of all that I had done so far. What do I get in return? B+ to A??!! Why cant she give me that A? Because I didn’t bind my copy, its black & white ?? I doubted so much that she had gone through the contents. Her comments : good data, substantial evidence, interesting attachment but no cover and no reference page?? Blind or what??
What is that enormous logo and index that I had thought out of the box so that it could value-added my report???

Urgh..like Kovy said, its a mistake that she came to our life. This is so unfair. If presentation meant so much to her, I would have just spend MORE time and extra cash (getting a graphic designer I suppose) to enhance the report rather spending my precious hours slogging in the library , google searching through the website and reading through all newspaper articles and reports pertaining to MARKET STRUCTURE in order that I could get that desirable A.

For the final year, its better got to be another lecturer to conduct Economics. (but then, why must we learn that again)
There is a possibility to switch to another institution . I dont want my grade to suffer AGAIN.

i should be so lucky

these images have nothing to do with this entry.
just love to upload pics to enhance my blog!!


Mun is so fortunate - for 2006-she had been winning numerous tickets entrances - movies, theatre, musical, tv shows, meet your idol face to face- what have you even for the most expensive VIP ticket which cost $250 per seat!
and to kick off 2007, yesterday when attending the TP's open house, she had won the 2nd prize- a Samsung MP3 player.

i guess all the computation on her monthly budget to buy the iPod will not come handy now. congrats - you do live up to your name. the light that shine so brightly..i am so flattered as well since i gave her that name. all of us were clueless to think of a girl's name since we thought we will be getting a brother. (boy or girl does not matter to us except you know who - sis!
enough said..it will not change anything by elaborating the past.) its funny to recall of how i got that name..from an entertainment magazine!! hehehe.....

my star is not as bright or should i say, not at all bright when it comes to lucky draws, participating in contests, quizzes and the list goes on. hmmm...getting an alarm cum radio more than 10 years ago for the xmas celebration and a $100 voucher for the RC members 5 years ago..and that's about it.
even for the scratch to win thingy, i had only won for myself a pen and ironically i was in my lower primary, didnt get to use that pen since we were writing in pencil....hahaha!

so pathethic..thats why i dont see myself going for company D & D.
to participate for the lucky draws like my other colleagues. it would be yet another anticipation- from the 100 to the 50..to the first 10..zzzzz

shower me with Arabic

it has been raining heavily again in january.
getting a cold shower is a drag BUT Najmi seems to enjoy it!!
Mak no longer put him in the tub for his evening bath. too active to handle.

Ezzaty's honeymoon period is over, On monday she had a list of Malay words for spelling.
10 words per week. and today another long list for her English. had been practising her Arabic - and she has been communicating in it since Monday. I had no clue what she was talking about - when Ezzaty starts to coach me word by word, it gets a bit annoying cos I dont seem to pick them fast enough...my memory is failing.

this weekend i have to brush up on that - systematically...
i guess i had to ask my friend Aishah for help, IF SHE IS FREE TO DO SO :-0

summary of late entries

31st dec - we had a simple celebration at home, twinny came with azi, poor adib had to work on that day. we had our usual Raya delicacies and then with our usual hangout activity in the balcony, reading the magazines, watching shows and looking after the kids who were having so much fun. Eddris went for Eid solat alone at Masjid Ahmad Ibrahim. after Asar, we left w/o twinny n mun to alya's place. cant wait to meet up with Aisy & farisha. and from there, we left to Effa's new place. she invited us for her housewarming and the Eid celebration. nice home!

01st Jan - Azi spent the night here and Ezzy was so overwhelmed to have her sleeping on the same bed! Twinny came in the early morning and joined me, Edd & Ezz to S'pore Expo for the Metro sale. we bought most of Ezz's stuff for school. worth waiting since the prices for the bags, stationery were down by half. around seven, the whole family gathered for pizzas and we watched Romi & Mitchel's school reunion, so hilarious!! and how true, when your pal would always stressed that she has a happy family, it really meant the opposite. i learned too that not being successful in your school years does not mean that you will stay that way forever.

02nd Jan - I left home around 8.15am for class- its MA and met up with the new intakes. as usual class owould be very quiet since we have not get to know each other yet . i came with Kovan and was surprised that Dian had joined me for the entire programme. she realised that she loved to learn more on digits for the financial mgt rather than the theorical concept of marketing. our lecturer Kader, looked so much like my cousin Mamat! met up with Edd n Ezz at AMK after class - i bought my school stuff for the next 3 modules since i couldnot get them at the Expo.

03rd Jan - school started early for Ezz. the bus picked her up at 6.40am and i left to join the assembly an hour later. i didnt have to worry about ezz's well-being since the school had adopted the BUDDY SYSTEM for a week. I watched from far, the buddy assigned from P5 did her task very well. making sure ezz had her lunch, keeping her company to the ladies and stayed by her all the time. even when she would be in her class, ezz is welcome to get her for assistance any time for a week.
parents were invited for a talk by the CEO for almost 2 hours at the Musolla area- valuable tips were given on handling the children on stress, time management and target setting for the year...all went well. most parent didnt turn up for the 2nd day in school. i was one of the few who did. did get to watch the cheering competition among the secondary students..they were very creative n witty. sad though, didnt bring my camera to capture ezz's first day in school.....i had so much things on my mind that i totally didnt think abt phototaking.....sorry ezz!

05th Jan - i was back to work after 9 days of holidays, hmm...no more rushing as for now-its the new beginning :-)

crappy entry

its the beginning of a new year.
its been almost a decade that i have stopped making new year's resolutions.
its meaningless for me cos i dont seem to be able to achieve them.
but neverthess i have never stopped to wish/pray/hope for the best - for myself and my loved ones.
everyone does.

this year i will be 7 years away from hitting the big 4 O..gosh! time travels super fast after hitting 21.
its kinda scary too. 20 years ago, i was ONLY 13 and it was a whole new experience in secondary school life in PHS!
20 years later, I will be 33, a mother to 2 young children, still pondering what are my next best steps and slogging mysef with the chores during the weekends....WAHWAHWAH...i wanna go back to those Retro years!

can never turn back the time. memories are meant to stay. always...

actually im running out of ideas on what to blog...so that explains all these craps!

Tomorrow all muslims will be celebrating Aidil Adha.
im having mixed feeling - happy & sad.
happy to be still alive to celebrate another Aidil adha - sad that I am not among the Jemaah to wukuf at Arafah.
It had been 2 years and the nostalgic feeling had never diminished.

Grateful that i was given the chance to perform one of he 5 pillars, at the same time Im hoping Allah would accept my ibadah throughout the pilgrimage.

I have tried my best but we all know we will never failed to be tested. time and again many unexpected things happened.
i know deep inside that unpleasant things that happened was beyond my control.
sacrifices alone did not guarrantee any success.

I still keep in touch with friends that I had made there.
what i had heard was true that during Haj, you will show your true self.
you will be able to tell if that someone is truly sincere or just utter words of wisdom to cover up her imperfections.

i was able to make friends to eveyone in our group and it seemed that everyone seemed to know me very well.
one of our jemaah passed away few months after we completed our haj.

maybe I shall get Eddris to visit Haji Salleh- to maintain the silaturrahim.

selamat menyambut aidil adha to all my friends.
may Allah bless us all.

its been a week. was very busy. but manage to spend time with my family on Xmas-going to sembawang park.
the sunday was occuppied attending weddings. i completed my assignment , the rest of the days were to entertain sms & calls form friends who were not so sure of completing it- i was not the expert-my answer may be wrong but nevertheless, it seemed as if my answer could resolve their doubts. i didnt bother to check once i completed cos i might had second thought.

all happened so fast, it seemed like yesterday i was just celebrating the coming of 2006 and now its coming to its end. looking back, 2006 was quite a happening year for me. i had Najmi, i had enrolled a course, towards its end, i changed job. hmm..beginning of 2007 seems like kicking off quite well too, i might have a lead to what i really want in my career. update later once all confirm. talk and no action is like building castle in the air. so better work on it than just to talk about it.

i had to apologise to Uncle D-the photos turned out very bad cos i didnt change the resolution to the print out mode. sorry!!
so as from now, regardless for upload or print out- i have the camera to be defaulted at its highest resolution.

i will be sitting for Biz Stats exam tomorrow. have not received result for Econs yet. wonder when...
i hope i will do well for the overall program. though i must admit time is against me for any revision eversince i change job.
Najmi turn 10 mths yesterday, these 2 weeks i have been getting him to depend less on the walker. Nurse wanted me to get him on his feet often so that he could walk before he reaches one.

breaking up my dream

I need a BREAK.
Away from all these mess and stress.
I need space to do some good thinking on lots of things.
Ezzaty starting her P1, Najmi turning one, my studies ending soon..
what are my next plans?

What do i really want in life?

Ani is back from her HK Disney trip.
We were supposed to be travelling together.
I had to cancel due to my recent employment.
All my anticipation end there..I could no longer dream.
It can never becomes a reality.

some people are just not worth to argue with.
even if im not wrong, i dont feel the need to defend myself.
let her get away with her ego.

if she choose to be against you , no amount of sacrifice and effort will erase the negativity from her mind.

getting me confused, making me work triple hard and then passing those baseless remarks - should you be getting my respect?

anyone with the right frame of mind would love to hate YOU.

since day one, i had this instinct of not being able to get along with you.
my guess was right, and its not only me - in fact the whole section can no loger tolerate with you.

heard that you are getting a transfer - better be soon.
cant wait for D Day.

wed us together

d wedding of our two beloved cousins went smoothly despite the heavy downpour.
i had been there since Friday, to give a helping hand but everything had been nicely planned, prepared and done. Spent few hours 'supervising' the decor team converting the dull multi-purpose hall to a Garden Wedding paradise!

It was Aisyah's preference to have all pink (even to the carpet) and yes, Eddris was there to ensure the chairs n tables were arranged to a satisfying layout.

I told Aisyah how fortunate she is to have a father like my uncle D - she can be rest assured that everything is in good hands.

I didnt do much on sat - acting as assistant to Kak June & CT with the kuihs.
On sunday, i was one of the rombongan accompanying Fuad to his bride's place.
So crowded that we had to eat while standing - putu piring, masalodeh n some kuihs.
more like a company event...

There was a slide showing photos of both seri n fuad from their baby years - i was stunned to see a photo of my uncle when he was in his twenties..I missed those years spending time with him.

all went well and of course me & ani grabbed d chance to pose with the brides n bridegrooms..few shots just to break the ice so that the rest will follow suit to do like wise. so true! they formed a queue the moment both of us stepped down!

more pics coming up..meantime-SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU TO FUAD & AISYAH BERSAMA PASANGAN. SEMOGA BERKEKALAN HINGGA KE AKHIR HAYAT.AMIN!!

Uncle D just called to express his thanks for our help especially to Eddris who was assigned to be the photographer and nominated ketua kendarat to oversee all the tasks being carried out efficiently. Dont have to Cik, He loves to do such chores!!

rush hour

I should be looking forward to Fridays cos on this day I will knock off at 5pm. Its the beginning of a weekend and its time for me to laze around.

It has been a month and I have realised that Friday is the most happening day here.
The nature of this job demands alot from me on Friday!
Do it fast and right. yeah3x, I'm learning to pick up that skill.
sometimes i feel like as though im working in the stockmarket - dealing with shares prices but no, im rushing to input the claims, invoices, data etc so that next week payment will be out as per scheduled.

Im worse off than a production operator - when the shift hour is over, another operator will continue the task.

As for me, when my official hour is over, nobody BUT me to complete the end process.

madmakcikmakesmemoody

class as usual ends at 10pm sharp. Mr Tan is one ON lecturer, he squeezes 2 lessons into one, making a blur student getting a blurrer vision of the whole statistics concept.

cant get to sleep YET - im too tired and my mind is overload, completed the draft for my assignment. im still not familiar with the formulae. will revise some during lunch tomorrow hopefully. work piling up, volume is just too high, impossible to clear ALL in a month. by these two days i have to get the usd payment out so that treasury could reserve the funds. y must they make things so difficult here? restrictions and controls will not do any better for us to think out of the box.

Najmi is getting very manja with me, he will not sleep until he gets to see me. he will be all awake the moment im home, does not matter how late it could be. sending me off in the morning is a natural thing for him. its a must for me to carry him out before i leaves for work. Ezzaty could not be bothered with me when she was younger. what a contrast.

I have been hearing unpleasant things about my uncle - well, i could guess who started it. i dont feel bad if it was not her but my instinct strongly tells that she had it coming. why must she says all those nasty remarks. what will she get ultimately? only SINS.

EVERYTIME, one of us having that big merry happening memorable event of their lives, she LOVES to ensure that it would not turn the way it should be. we will start hating one another without learning the truth. the truth that nobody cares to find out what, why N when. it will drag till the next raya, and blindly we will seek forgiveness for nothing. crazy!

You cant have the best all the time. If you do not want to help, just shut your bloody mouth.
if you cant respect others, at least have the decency to respect yourself. so mad with that makcik!

routine me

i did get a good sleep on friday, though i slept almost at two in the morning after attempting the assignment. didnt have that motivation to finish all the parts questions. and i still not very certain on PROBABILITY topic. hope the text that Dian had reserved for me would come in handy.

On Sat evening, I turned up for the facial appointment. I guessed its one way to pamper myself that during the 2 hours treatment process, i could hear myself snore. Kak nia was next to me- I hope it was not too loud. Bought most of product care to replenish my stock, yes, its almost five months! and i was 2 months late for the facial. my skin had lost its radiance-that was what M commented.

Sunday was up early, Mak made us go to Geylang serai for her baju. She was worried not getting the best since it was a last minute shopping for our cousins' weddings this coming Sunday. She managed to get one Jubah-sweet, pastel 2 layered long dress.
Ezzaty bought her kebaya and i was glad it came close to my outfit!

I left for class after that, it was not until 7pm that i reached home and cared for Najmi till he slept at 9.30pm...very routine huh?!

today in history

im so ever glad to have join the company with SL & YL at the same time. we are not alone facing the stress, the high volume of transactions, the ever so fast speed and the endless claims. and when we have to stay exceeding the office hour to complete the task, we can be assured that we are being accompanied.

eversince AE was away on mc for almost a week, SL N YL ask me to tag along. was not able to be with d the both of them since they have been going to lunch with the seniors, and i guess now they have called it quit, must be getting sick of the company. YL is more open about her thoughts and does not mind to pour out her grievances. rarely get to talk since YL was seated away from me & SL. By now i know SL too well. i can always sense her frustrations.

over lunch, we were complaining about the system -S-L-O-W and ironically it should not be happening since the company offers IT talents around the region!

it was just the 3 of us in d section, no more silence. the rest had left. YL was telling me THAT we did all the lousy taks, enabling the rest to go back on time.

SL & YL were yelling at each other, telling what to do next while generating the payment. i was engrossed sorting out the invoices with the sounds of flippings and staplings. once a while there would be cursings and swearings.

reminds me so much when I was in RP. then me, JJ, YH & CC were of the same age, joined the company almost the same time and we often accompanied each other doing overtime.

History do someimes repeat itself.

received sms from ITE pal-M that she's leaving for Mekah to perform Haj on 23 Dec. I got her flight details and contemplating on the possibilities of sending her off at T1 or visit her these few days before her departure.

While smsing her, Madinah and Bin Dawood appear on my mind. Miss the life there.
I have made a promise to return every five years and I hope it will be fulfilled. I want both Ezzaty and Najmi to perform umrah with me & Eddris before they can afford to perform Haj on their own expenses.

I did get M to convey my salam to our Prophet Muhammad S.A.W -PBUH. Thats my only request. I understand how committed she would be if many would want her to do this and that since being called to be in the Holy Place are for those the chosen ones.

She didnt reply, must be very busy.

PictureUSperfect

a picture says a thousand words. najmi n ezzaty in their candid shots - pathetic najmi down with fever-that pad on his forehead reminded me of someone.

CT, a childhood friend whom i met up a year ago came to visit with her son, 2 nephews and her eldest sis.
didnt get to blog about this then. it was sweet of her to dropby admist her busy schedule to and fro her own home and her sis's. eversince i joined the new company, i didnt get to email to her as often like before.

maybe from now onwards, i should sms to my friends instead.
i dont want to lose any of them again. hard to imagine saying hi after so many years and getting them to picture us when we were younger, bringing them down to memory lane is not that easy. we are already in our 30's.