it was very busy busy weekends. preparing the dishes for Sunday gathering till the wee hours of 3 am.
it was a tedious job making roti terai, hundreds of them yet rewarding when people enjoyed them, not many pieces left. cooked the sweet sour fish fillets in the morning, yummy!just love the capsicums and pineapples! Mak offered to prepare the curry and fried beehoon,great relief!

vsitors were mainly my maternal aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews.
invited only bro Juff, my primary & secondary schoolmate.poor him! making himself comfy in the kitchen cos no place for him, his mum and nenek in the living room. after 7 years, about time to meet and catch up on our personal developments. my in laws turned up and as usual to end the day, Eddris childhood pals and families came almost Isyak.
avoided as much not to talk about delivery, i know A was so into it, cos it was her first time, sort of bragging her non-epidural and only 3 pushes! im not amazed....i dont want to put down the happy spirit so try hard not to listen and involve in the conversation...Najmi was extra friendly, posing for the cameras, puting on his sweetest smile to those who met him for the very first time.

okay, its time to focus on my assignments.just not in the mood yet.
syawal lasts a month, curbing my desire to visit more families/friends is a big sacrifice.

GM informed that I will not be getting my pay this month instead will be accumulated after deducting the 2 weeks notice in lieu till my last day, which will be on 3rd Nov. sounds compromising.its fine with me, cos last day of work, there will always be a hiccup.

met kak S on my way to perform Zuhur, she decided to join me before going home, was on half day MC.didnt have the heart to tell her im leaving this place very soon.invited me to her home tomorrow, told her if i would be around the area, shall drop by.

there's a possibility to visit aunt tonite, tomorrow shall be a busy day, me & mak preparing for Sunday since most of our relatives from uncles to anak buah coming over...

i guarrantee one family not coming over, all equip with nonsensical excuses, let them be. see how long they will able to retain their so called innocence(not your family Nana, in case you are wondering).

very sad, such people do exist in our society.

Ezzaty had to put on her baju kurung and bring a plate of cookies for Syawal celebration in school.
guess what?i had misinterpreted the note that school starts as usual before it was Ramadhan.
There she was waiting patiently with her ayah who is as usual twice as patient, for the school bus, not realising they were half an hour late.Mak had the urge that something was wrong and called CiK P, the bus operator.

Ezzaty was having thoughts not to attend but i encouraged her to go ahead since it wld be her last Syawal to celebrate there.
so off she headed to school on Ayah's motorbike, should see how high she had lifted her kain!

she returned home as usual so chatty, giving me 2 green packets from Cik P-for her and najmi.
happily informed me that her teacher was so fond of her vintage 80's baju kurung that she brought her to another teacher to pose! that teacher who is in charge of the graduation day, had made her promise to wear the same baju kurung for that big day...i thought of getting her to wear the lavender one, though.

i didnt expect others would appreciate my choice, it was not the in-thing material, i bought it because i had to think for ezzaty's comfort. must priorities Ezzaty's need before anything else.and i had purchased from the wrong vendor.so funny thinking about that.everyone at home gave the same remarks-huh?! so outdated ah...thats y i labelled our oufits as vintage and in the 80's it was the in thing!

both najmi n ezzaty spent hours of sleeping and napping-those late nights visitings must have tired them.
im still nursing backache and now my waist is giving me problems.
and i have to cut down having cold drinks..festive moods with hot drinks?just not my cup of tea.

heres the updates on our 2 days visiting,
Alia n family came in late evening on 1st syawal, before departing to visit our aunts in Bukit Batok, we posed for family pics w/o munyra.

I was on leave today to visit eddris family. slotted in to include Alia's in laws and 2 uncles of mine.
our last home should be eddris step sis but backing out when we found out her house was packed, really crowded with visitors.

2 of eddris sisters were not in, one was at work, the other we did meet up at his youngest aunt place.
started out at 1 2noon and reached home at almost 11 pm. from Jurong, to CCK and all the way to Toa Payoh..
my! glad our homeland is small, many places within a day, imagine if its as big as Malaysia..
oh yes!we are not going to Selangor for this saturday wedding, abit disappointed but the time is just not right.
we have plans to celebrate our future Raya there, hopefully next yr is the right time to start doing so.
we can balik kampung halaman eventhough its in the city area, cos at least there is a backyard for the kampung spirit.

EID MUBARAK MINAL AIDIL WAL FAIZIN!!

we are in the festive moods.
me & ezzaty in our vintage 80's baju kurung!
while waiting for Alia, we posed for few pics.
the day im looking forward to gather with my loved ones.

my goblet pleated curtains with the new paint colour. the design is abit odd, i try to break the conservative pattern, heheh,,,

yesterday and today were filled with hectic schedules.
Syawal is only days away,touching up and doing the last minute shopping are unavoidable.
went to causeway point around 11am yesterday with Ezzaty.last resort after not able to find suitable footware for her.
Mak always emphasize the convenience of purchasing all our needs around the area BUT too bad for few times, I cant find a nice pair of shoes. i dun want to drag till the last minute so i made the effort to travel all the way there. after going to 2 shops, i got her the shoes from BATA - the latest since it was not on display the weeks before,

went Metro to buy table cloth, thanks for reminding me Ez, we were heading home when i was alerted.
eddris did the last touching up on the walls, even painted the recess area, about time to change the all white.
so welcoming with the apricot.

me too, this morning was finalising on my curtains, i was having backache again sewing the ruffles.
maybe i should not think about curtains for time being, at least till my back is not giving me the pain.

went geylang after work to meet up wth ani,muny,ez & ed.
we settled for burgers Ramli to break fast at darul arqam.it was so filling....i saw Timah-a friend i made in mecca.
She gained weight but still so candid, she wanted me to email my developments.
we were supposed to be discussing abt our courses, which i decided to take up much earlier.

bought those which i had on mind in Jcc and bazaar before headed to Kg Glam.
no jam, it was quite a smooth traffic especially when it was on a holiday eve.

kg glam bazaar was such a disappointment-with all the hoo haa & promotion...it was nothing!
bought murtabaks from zamzam..for mak who was all alone with najmi. thks mak!

Less than 2 weeks here, I take the chance to observe the places I pass by on the way to the office. It would be a memory and soon be history.

GM was on MC yesterday, they took the chance to query more about my new job.
SY was especially try hard to change my mind, giving all the negativities which had not even cross my mind. Ridiculous ones,like I may be unlucky being attach to a not so nice buddy and the aircon there would be extra cold...think of better ones,lah!

I had signed the official letter, the terms and conditions are better than here.
Getting extra leave days and benefits,not to mention the distance-its a lot of savings.

Hope it all goes well for the future, Im in my 30s already, I dont want to see myself jobhunting again. I seek HIS help time and again for the best, I may be able to perform but then without HIM for EVERYTING I may need, everything would be impossible.

funny though, munyra should be the one crying cos just then was her graduation day.
instead, I was the one breaking into tears reading her blog and reading her friends' messages in her autograph book.
I was so emotional looking at her pictures. Its like I was the one leaving the school for good and departing from my dear friends.
MAYBE I dun have that kind of bonding with my classmates then.

I think after this 10 months programme, I would, should and could be emotional.
I get along very well with my coursemates, encouraging, motivating and helping each other, though we are years apart.
I certainly gonna miss Hooi, Wendy, Dolly, Kovan, Shamla, Dian, Cherene, Nana & her buddies!
yeah, there is competition among us. So that there will be no slacking and to make sure we make it through within the time frame.

on a positive note, after months of hopes, rejections and perseverance, my efforts FINALLY paid off.
Allah granted my wish for a greener pasture during this fasting & sacrificing month, makbul doa and berbaloi usahaku.
I was invited for an interview on Monday afternoon, didnt give it much thought, I dont want to feel the bitter pangs of defeats again.
got a surprise call from that HR on Tuesday Night that FM & HRM found me the most suitable for the post and the greatest news of all, I got the salary I expected! executively assigned role for me,yep!

had promised them that if I were offered an attractive package, Im willing to commerce work in 2 weeks instead the norm of one month period, giving my existing employer 2 weeks short notice.

a price I had to pay for a better career advancement. No pain no gain. No regrets cos this is just too good to be true.
tender my resignation today. GM was surprised cos she thought I had settled down here happily.
when told that I got a much better offer, she could not say anything further-she never thought I would be so much appreciated by a prestigious organization.

SH & SY were overwhelmed that im getting what I should be getting here but sad to see me go. I was holding back my tears seeing them being so tearful. Life goes on, as much as I would want to be with them, I must priorities my financial matter, now that my family is expanding and munyra is going into tertiary education.

GM had no reason to hold me back, to discuss with PL on the settlement for going off 2 wks earlier.
PL was on 2 days mc, be back on Friday, im working hard this week to close the account and clear the outstanding before SAYONARA on 3rd Nov.

hmm...just when you think the odds are against you,(like the unwelcome sarcastic remarks), only to find the best has yet to happen, waiting for the right time.

my back is aching again. feeling uncomfortable on my way home.
the journey was a torture and yes, i cant have the short nap that ive been looking forward to.

getting seat on the train is like getting your pay. always welcoming but its only once in the blue moon.

i was having a hard time when expecting Najmi,
Had tot travel all the way to the west and down to the town.
leaving for work at 6.15am just to get a seat and reaching office almost 2 hrs later.

standing for an hour with that bulging tummy and kicking baby was a challenge. my feet were swollen way before the time.

inilah pengorbanan seorang ibu - bawa perut untuk sumbangan ekonomi keluarga.
no complaints But Im just upset that doing the national service does not give you any privilege,
even to the basic needs.

Would like to update daily, but cant help it.
Im really tied down lately especially with Syawal preparations.
Most of the necessary purchases had been bought, completed my baking and sewing :-0

Resume fasting after few days off. Timely, those days off were fully utilized for all the preparations since I cant do much on spiritual task.
Eddris finished painting at 3am on Monday morning, I dozed off after hours of baking the pineapple tarts, thanks to Ezzaty for her help, she was so into home economics.

No more baking, please! I dont want to do the cleaning again, rather do something more beneficial than messing up and cleaning up. Its time to go back to my notes - had not been revising the past few days.

Life will soon be back to normal.Ramadhan seems short, this time. Maybe Im already handful with loads of routine things. Occupied with the commitments that I had not realized the Blessed month would soon leave us.

Towards the end of Ramadhan, we should be focusing more on spiritual matters, but instead, we are busy with cakes, cookies and candies!
Life is not a piece of cake, afterall. Its easy to plan but not that easy to achieve them especially where matters of faith are concerned. Days come and go, I really have to do more soul searching.

Friends and celebrities passing away almost everyday, just a matter of time, it would be my turn.Giving me goose bumps thinking about that.

everything was fine, PL assisted to resolve my problems - it was a minor mistake
what a relief!

i was working since friday morning sewing the living room' curtains.
thought it could be all DONE within a day, i was so wrong.
the valance which i had sent for the edge 2b sewn was only done this morning.
obviously, my request was overlooked, didnt bother 2 make a fuss, that uncle was already feeling bad abt it.
it was done after i completed my marketng.

The balcony was my workstation but somehow, the whole house was upside down,materials were all over the place.
i had to be in and out of the living room and balcony to do the measurement, cutting and running the machine.
i didnt get to rest, my dear niece is coming over, so EVERYTHING must be done before 7pm.

will upload my masterpiece pic when i hang them up next week,
tomorrow shall be another busy n messy day,
i will resume my baking session and eddris starting his painting.

Ezzaty will be sleeping over at Ani's place tonight, i will not be getting any help.

Eddris collected my baju kurung from Kak Nia in the afternoon...
She did a great job, they are flawless :-)

ive obeserved that if one bad thing to happen, more bad ones will come along soon.
cant say im unlucky, life has been good but frankly, if i were to be extra careful,the more mistakes i will make..so whats the point of being careful?

mistakes are unforgiven here, no excuses for overlooking and no such thing as unforeseen cirsumstances.

i guess i just have to face the music, now or later.
i just dont know how to start, worse, i will be on leave tomorrow.
cant just leave it one her desk, write a note about the mishap and wait for Monday for the outcome???

im dead for ideas....

Was not feeling well yesterday.Worked for 2 hours, cannot take it anymore, took a chit, got GM's approval and off to the company's clinic. It was my 2nd trip there, after almost 3 years here. Dr L gave me a MC right away - i was down with fever and bad flu. i didnt waste much time packing, no mood to work, my most lousiest one and timely to have a good rest at home, at least.

today was really a bad starter. Never been in that kind of situation before, in life there will always be a first time, i guess.
and i hope it will be my last. i wont elaborate, will only bring tears - never expect to be treated that way in my 13 years in the workforce. so unprofessional of you, PL!

The lecurer was way better than i thought, never again judge a person by her look, background, race and nationality.
it will be a waste to miss her class but again who will want to miss your once a year celebration especially when it will be my first raya with my son. i will have to rely on Hooi for assistance.

still having that chill, i can never get better, what with the kind of place im working - never tired to mention, im in the wrong place at the wrong time working with the wrong people with the wrong attitude.

God bless me with so much patience to act nonchalantly, other people would have burst out crying and even quit right away!
SH just did!

had blocked nose since morning, my lips so dry that it bleeds and my throat sores.
im about to have that flu infected feeling, everything felt so uncomfortable.
tot i was not able to pull through the day but i felt okay after going out during lunch to source for Mei mei gift.
i guessed the strong aircon made me sick, being out for a while, dried up the cold in me!
took anti flammatory tablets after buka, hope it will heal that soreness.

bought a pink kitten pencil case and a pink pouch for Meimei, im sure she will like them.
back to office, ample time to do some reading and surf the net. my mood was not affected by the usual blaming.
im so bo chap with the culture here. so it does not matter anymore if im right or wrong, i did my best.

the accounts should be finalised this week, im stuck with fixed asset data.
should not hinder the smooth closing cos i just need to xerox them for future reference.
hope when that future comes, im not here!

Thought i could sleep longer, its sunday afterall. Then remembered Mak had left after subuh for kuliah, so i better do the chores before najmi woke up.

not enough time, he was ALREADY up and making alot of noise for attention. fed and bathed him before 9 and off he slept again. that quiet moment, i took the chance to sort out all the notes pertaining to the last modules,,,
and preparng for the coming 2,.WAH!..so fast!

half a day spent baking cookies for syawal, not that early cos we will be celebrating in 2 weeks time.
it would have taken me longer if w/o help from little angel,who shows keen interest in baking.
she did all the pressing, moulding and arranging the pastries on trays.

hope the chippy oats are sufficient for this yr Syawal, baked about 400 pcs.
last year, before 2 weeks Syawal, all gone. Ezzaty n Eddris love them so much, baked more for them to enjoy and tot giving some to my neighbour and Hooi.

the Fruity Flakes turned out okay-not as what i expected though.
was dead tired, thankful that Mak did the marketing and took turns with eddris to look after najmi while i was baking.
appreciate all the help and understanding - Mak knows best when i need help badly.

after buka, ezzaty did her drawing n reading and najmi was busy moving around in his walker, very quiet when hes full.
then we had mini birthday..just for posing and sing along to cheer them up.
our neighbour gave the cake as a token for her daughters birthday,
invited ezzaty to the birthday bash at Mcdonalds, but she did not want to join in the crowd.
eddris was rushing for terawih, soon he will have to miss going to Masjid, his class will resume next week.back to school again.

im buying a gift for Mei mei tomorrow nearby office, cant get nice one around here.

i thought i was fast, hooi was even faster completing her exam paper!
not sure if im gonna score 100%, a least i had them all balanced, a relief.
initially i was not able to balance the first question, put it on hold till i had completed the rest.
it was a silly error, compute it as 80,000 when it was only 8,000.

collected the study guide for Economics n Business Statistics, had some ideas what it gonna be like-im just hoping to get through for this subjects, having to skip 2 lessons cos they will be conducted on Eve and Syawal nite itself, making it even tougher.

i had a chat with Eric, one of the coursemate from Business Admin. Past experience had taught me not to judge people from the way they look. I was very careful with my words. True enough, he manages his own construction company, already took up degree course in SIM years ago but had to discontinue when he resigned from the company which sponsored his studies. Hes as old as Mak but dont mind to take a step slower, he prefers the gradual study mode, unlike me who want to complete it fast. And he dun look like the bossy manager type, very humble, down to earth fatherly figure.

went causeway point after that, cancelled my plan to Arab Street cos i didnt know the study guide to be so heavy,,
bought all the stuff that i needed, so the list is getting shorter..yippee!!

its friday again

bought cargo pants for Najmi during lunch-so cute and so soft!
been buying girls' stuff for quite sometimes, buying for my boy can be quite a challenging task. limited choice and range, i could narrowed down to the colours and material type.

ani went for shopping spree today, on leave, my!

i shop around whenever i can, during lunch time (limited shops, btw)or by chance.
i have a number of things on my list waiting for me to do the sourcing...
hope to get it done this saturday.going over to Arab Street after exams,i hope i will not overspend. sometimes cant help it, things can get very cheap when you dont need them, always have the thoughts for future use.

Applied leave on Friday next week-thought going shopping, then remembered my main purpose.
cant say much about my plan cos i may not be able to accomplish.

i hope all goes well and im trying hard to avoid the last minutes thing.

I was among the five who stayed back to discuss the past year paper questions.
my staying up late the night before, would be wasted if the answers were not given. I asked PG if he would be giving it out since during class, he was discussing other exercises.
He didnt have it but was willing to sit down and run through them together.
Was glad cos I would know which areas I had gone wrong and the tips in getting some difficult ones right.

On way home, my short nap was interrupted by this lady sitting next to me , who started an unusually loud conversation.(yeah, i realised she did it on purpose). I was still in daze, didnt get what she was trying to tell me but soon found, she was pissed off with a group of yuppies who had not given her a seat earlier on at the station, making matter worse, passed some sarcastic remarks which really boiled her up. I guessed she could no longer bottled up her anger and needed somenone to get back at them. I was the scapegoat but didnt drag her into depth, hoping she would stop cos it was quite embarrasing to be talking to a stranger who had the intention to get back at them whom i didnt know. Soon, the yuppies alighted, but I was not saved the agony of more angers. I calmed her down and agreed with her that some people thought they were a level higher just bcos they received overseas education. Only to realise the person who she was referring to, was in fact still in d train, looking at us!

My! I was feeling uneasy but thank GOD, had reached my stop and made a quick move before a commotion had its chance to be created.

Lesson learnt - When you think you did the right thing only to find, it was totally wrong!

im overjoyed!


i was quite upset after lunch. was helping PL to check the audited accounts.
she put the blame on me for wrong disclosure, i had to defend myself that she/SH had checked it too.
so the blame should not be solely on me. i was not the end process, she checked and acknowledged them.

after a nasty dressing down, then she realised that she was responsible for it.
its not the first time she did that, im very dissappointed and fed up with her.
and not having the chance to explain my stand, my resentment towards her gets worst!

i know i should be grateful for she was the one who proposed that GM should take me then, but i think i dont owe her to be treated that way once too often. My pride, dignity and reputation was tarnised in minutes!

my POM exam result was out minutes before i headed to class.
getting A was a huge consolation to heal the pain.

i was as surprised as Hooi that she got A, far better than her expectation of C.
and i thank THE ONE ABOVE that i was not heavily penalised for my BA assignment.
getting one mark short of 100% was a great relief!
i know im going lose to Hooi, she obtained full mark.
im happy for her bcos my effort in helping her paid off, she even beats me!
so malu, teacher scored lesser than student.

happy ending, 2 good news should be abe to supercede one bad one.

taken when Najmi was only 2 months, so soon to compete with kakak!


Yesterday was a good Monday. I reached home earlier than usual, surprisingly.
Mak was very busy; Najmi had not slept well so she had not laid the table for break.
It was timely that I had reached early to prepare whatever necessary in half an hour.

4 types of beverages for 4 people-each want to have this and that.
Mak had fried some finger food, I had to reheat last night sauce, fried kway teow and boil the pasta.
My pasta was not ready; I had to settle down a bit later than the rest.

Najmi opened wide his mouth each time I put something into mine.
So if the food was not into his, you can expect the loud cry as if someone had pinched him in the thigh.
My! Already had 3 large spoons of cereals and he still craved for more!
Ezzaty was busy chatting away, once a while pulling my sleeve if I were not listening hard enough.

2 little people getting attention at the same time can be a deafening experience – it happens very often.
It was, as you can imagine, a noisy buka puasa session.

Im so helpless without my handphone today!
Doesnt matter if no one calls or sms,
Just by having it with me, makes me feel secure.
We cant deny that handphones are part of our life now.

I need handphone not only to communicate and interact with others
Also with the radio, entertaining myself in moments of boredom and importantly to know when its time to break fast. Now with advanced technology, cameras are attached in most handphones, making it easy for us to capture those precious moments without the hassle of carrying an actual one.

I guess Im still lagging behind where latest models are concerned.

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back -
Time, Words, Opportunity

Three things in life that are most valuable -
Love, Self-confidence, Friends

Three things in life that are never certain -
Dreams, Success, Fortune

Three things that make a man/woman -
Sincerity, Commitment, Hard work

Three things in life that can destroy man/woman -
Alcohol, Pride, Anger

Three things in life that, once lost, hard to build-up -
Respect, Trust, Friendship

Three things in life that never fail -
True Love Determination Belief

A friend emailed me this quote.
important and meaningful

the sounds of mahjong tiles broke the silence making its harder for me to be in dreamland. im still up MAYBE i just had a cup of coffee, empowered by the effect of caffeine - im still kicking at this late hour.

gonna perform solah isya later, had trouble putting Najmi to bed earlier on, thank GOD, he was asleep afer a few rocks in the cradle. the whole day, he had spent most of the time playing and not sleeping. Active toddler!

received sms from Kak nia, she suggested to go to Melati's next week.
she would have completed sewing my baju kurung by then.
saving me another trip to the west, so its like killing 2 birds with one stone. how thoughtful!

if only with my other cousins I could communicate like i do with Kak Nia, wouldnt it be wonderful and meaningful for any family gatherings. most of them are more like strangers to us NOW, they cant tell which is Ana or Ani and some even claimed not knowing where we stay. so u can expect THEY have not been visiting us for A LONG TIME! abroad?no, just plain stupid for not realising that Singapore is a small place to locate ur relatives.

I have no regrets about them choosing to skip our home EVERY RAYA but I am disappointed the way they treat my Mak.
Hello, she is your auntie after all, ur flesh and blood. the one who cared, babysat and fed you! have u forgotten or u just ignoring the clear fact?

get a life, stop telling tales and stop pretending that you are becoming just like your own enemies!
everyone knows you have lots of enemies, so why are you enlisting us to be in your HATE to the core CLUB?
whats your problem? we have no problem with you so i can only CONCLUDE that you are not normal
yeah...u shld be in IMH, long time ago.
U, ur family and Ur Blinded Buddies!